It must be said that the official purpose of my working life is anything but about me. Now at 64, I only have a few months until I qualify for my pension.
I don’t feel age, age, mind or body, but here it is coming on the horizon.
I have feelings found with respect to the end of my useful productive life. Writing it still does not jive and I can’t absorb the inevitable.
There is fear of a feeling of uselessness, not loved, without consequence, an old fart.
Possibly I would have reached this crossroads in a more normal way where retirement had been planned during the last two decades, it could be the landing in a work land with a filming train in its place and operation.
But faithful to the form, my form, my vocational disappearance has been in the whims of the many turns and turns of life. My working life has reflected my private life, my whole life, and the Russian mountain would make an injustice. So, if the truth would be told, I would not surprise the polite observers that was as inevitable as the next night.
Without a doubt, I have been a controversial figure of my early years so far. This is not the forum to explore the Why’s and the Wheres. Another place, another moment.
What I can say is something I can identify and it is, whatever the perception of me and my actions throughout my life, I have always kept myself faithful to myself.
In that statement is the fact that being so, were the basic components for my tenacity and the associated capacity to get up from the ashes on more than one occasion in my life.
In addition to the irrational panic attacks with which he can easily and sometimes, I have the resistance and self -confidence to maintain control.
Enough of the disadvantage, the positive aspects of retirement are multiple.
Marching to your own drum. It’s time to smell the roses. Time to cultivate roses. Opportunity to develop hobbies, in my case as a kitchen. Time to read and digest.
It’s time to love and care for our dear dogs. Walk with them, talk to them, play with them. These our substitute children. Cultivate existing and new friends. Breathe the air, see the sights.
Find out without alurium with the roads of the world, capable of choosing your moments of the dramas that pass.
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For me, positive aspects exceed the negatives but by an important point. I know that finance is insufficient to cover our golden years. Then, in the accepted sense of formal retirement, life will still have to fulfill.
But for me, I want to press my writing home and push it where I want me to go. I will certainly call my inherent tenacity.
And with some internal power can finance our golden years with poetry and prose.
The pen wrote and move on!