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The sincere apologies are for those who make them, not for those to whom they are made. “~ Greg Lemond
When I grew up, every time I took my sister’s toy or called my brother names, my mother grabbed me by the wrist and demanded that she offer an apology. In addition, if the apology did not seem significant enough for her, I had to repeat it until my tone was genuine. An apology was the basic reaction to any error.
Now that I am old, I see myself as more than a domestic rule. My self does not understand the complexities of human pride and self -justice, but my oldest self.
Now, I see family members who refuse to talk to each other for years after a discussion just because none of the parties wants to be the first to let their pride and “break and apologize.” But who decided to apologize was a sign of weakness?
I think we have reached a day and age in which to show emotional vulnerability can be seen as a positive quality instead of negative.
People are becoming more aware of ideas such as empathy and sensitivity, and everywhere we are encouraged to talk about our feelings, seek help and connect with others. Gone were the days of keeping everything bottled inside to suffer alone.
As we advance at this time of self -knowledge and self -discovery, it is vital to acquire the ability to recognize our own mistakes. No one is perfect, and we will all do something to hurt another person at some point in our lives. The difference, however, lies recognizing that we have done something wrong.
This was difficult for me to understand, because they taught me that an apology should be an automatic response.
It took me a long time to realize what it meant to say “sorry” of the heart. Sorry just to apologize makes no sense. We cannot apologize genuinely if we cannot admit that we made an error.
This is where humility enters. Can we look in the mirror and say that at least our fault was partly? Can we assume that responsibility?
Giving another person to blame is easy. Making excuses and avoiding the issue is easy. However, assuming the total weight of the guilt of our own shoulders is very difficult.
I learned this in the difficult way with a friend of my childhood. As we grew up, we began to be more competitive in the things we did together, and finally the playful competition went too far.
It became a game of trying silent to demonstrate who was better, and we ended up hurting us for our pride.
We refuse to apologize or even address what was happening because none wanted to be the one to “give in.”
The tension continued to grow, separating our friendship. I would like to be able to return now, because if I had assumed the responsibility of the mistakes I made, we could probably have easily resolved and save our friendship.
Instead, I let my pride have priority over my relationships with the people around me.
Learning to apologize is the first and most important step in the healing process. Not only shows the recipient that you recognize your right to feel injured, but open the way to forgiveness.
It seems so dumb, really. I mean, they are just two little words. How can something so small to be so powerful?
Well, there have been several scientific studies on the power to apologize, which have shown that when the victim receives an apology from his offender, he develops empathy towards that person, which later develops more quickly in forgiveness.
This is due to the fact that when we receive an apology, we feel that our offender recognizes our pain and is willing to help us heal.
Time is also an important aspect to consider, because sometimes the other person may not be ready to accept their apologies. Sometimes we need to make time to cure the wounds a little before we show up to say “I’m sorry.”
An apology cannot undo what has been done, but it can help relieve the pain and tension of the sequelae. It gives the hope of reconstruction, and gives value to the relationship instead of the pride of the individual.
Sometimes people do not even realize the pain they are creating around them not to assume responsibility for their actions. Maybe it’s you, maybe it’s someone you know, but everyone knows someone who has suffered this at some point.
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